Rubber Stamp Chat


Go Back   Rubber Stamp Chat > Studio > Tips and Tutorials

Tips and Tutorials Learn new stamping techniques and projects. Ask how stamping techniques are done here.

Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
  #121  
Old 05-13-2013, 07:52 AM
inkkyjo's Avatar
inkkyjo inkkyjo is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Aug 2009
Location: MOORESVILLE ,N.C.
Posts: 613
Default

so sorry that happened to you..i had someone no too long ago do that to me here on this site...i was doing several swaps and my own, and i didn't cast all my artistic views upon each set of different stamped art swaps...all were great, but there was one where i didnt stamp, but did other layers so it wasnt plain, and it was very pretty....i was running low that month on art supply's so i went out and just bought decorative paper and used my punches and stickers...all my other swaps i did stamp...but this one set i didn't...and lord and behold...they emailed me and blast me on the quality...i thought, lady you can kiss it..i am poor and alone and disabled, i do the best i can...some days are really great and wonderful..then there are days i cant get out of bed...but i love art and anyone who does art, and does their art their own way...i dont care if its very pretty, lopsided, bent or torn...i worked in the past with a lot of folks in nursing homes, i taught them art..so if they could color in the lines of stamped images, cool and if they couldn't i still told them how great and wonderful it was....because they TRIED and they had fun doing art...it made them happy to have something in their rooms that they made hanging on their wall..and their wall was only one room which they share with one other room-mate...art is a way out for them to be happy...its all any of us really have...so foks, my art isn't always pretty....but i had fun doing it...girl, do your art anyway you want to....i think everything you do is great, i love your art and the way you feel it in your heart....keep your art coming...i love it
__________________
JOANNIE DAVIS - inkkyjo
Reply With Quote
  #122  
Old 05-13-2013, 11:47 PM
lylacfey's Avatar
lylacfey lylacfey is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: May 2011
Location: I live in the beautiful Ozarks.
Posts: 236
Default

Thank you to everyone for all the kind comments. I am still pretty shaken up over this weekend. I am doing a bit better.

I wish I could say we just don't see eye to eye. That she made a lot of mistakes. I know she does love me in her own way. I can't any more with her.

This weekend she attacked another woman who has a mentally disabled child. She said the woman deserved it and then attacked her for it.

She kept trying to start arguments with me. I know none of you know me in real life. In real life I am not confrontational at all. I don't get into arguments period. My loved ones always tell me I am the diplomatic one. I wouldn't argue with her which made her more abusive and mean.

I had to hear about her affairs she had on my Father. I am still traumatized over that one.

The last one was the deal breaker that ending up snapping me. My child has made a terrible mistake in his life. This is a mistake he will have to live and overcome that will effect him forever. This mistake has nothing to do with my Mother. My child will need to find his way. My Mother said about my child "I always hated him. I always will hate him and I wish he was never born and I wish he would die!"

Even typing that just upsets me to no end. Yes, she was sober.

InkyJo- You are the reason I found this site. I found your beautiful horse. You are one of the stamper's I most admire. I am giving whoever blasted you the side eye. All your creations are beautiful. I use stickers too. I love stickers. I own more stickers than stamps. I make beautiful sticker creations. Stickers are an art form. I would have been honored and thrilled to get one of your collage creations.

Fab- Thank you for your advice. That hit home. I am in my that pivotal age range you wrote. One of the things I struggled with this weekend is why I am so darn stupid about her. I am old enough to know her game and how mean she is at it. I would protect any one from that kind of abuse if I saw it but I stand there and let myself take it. You made me feel better writing it took you a long time too to come to terms with things.

I am creating. It might not be stamping. I am decorating my new home. I did some gardening today. My DH made me laugh all night. I bought my cat a set of ping pong balls that she's been chasing all over the place. A big orange cat outside gave me lots of bumpy kisses. A robin came up to see me today. He set beside me while I weeded. I found a huge patch of clover. It was a great day.
__________________
DeeAnn
Reply With Quote
  #123  
Old 05-14-2013, 06:10 AM
stampin stacy
Guest
 
Posts: n/a
Default

She is your mother and it is human nature to hold out hope that a parent will some day be what we always wanted and needed. Eternal hope is what makes humans and human nature special, even if that hope is misplaced at times. DO NOT BERATE YOURSELF, a soft heart that always hopes is far better than a hard heart that has given up and withdrawn.

Her choices are hers and the best thing you can do is to remove her from your life as best you can. Next time she says things that upset do not argue or make comments, leave. If you have to get in your car and drive away from your own home for an hour or so do it. That is exactly what a psychiatrist would tell you to do. It is a form of standing up to them because it demonstrates you will not listen to their sh#t anymore but in a non confrontational way.
Reply With Quote
  #124  
Old 05-14-2013, 06:50 AM
TheAfricanQueen's Avatar
TheAfricanQueen TheAfricanQueen is offline
Been real & been fun
 
Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: In a very busy place
Posts: 14,904
Default

Treating a total stranger with such contempt could land her in court with a huge lawsuit. But then, maybe that's what she needs to give her one ferocious wakeup call. A tough nut is hard to break.

My dad was manic long before us girls left home. What broke him was when my BIL moved my sister and my nephew away from the house and five acres he had given them as a wedding present. My dad NEVER gave anything. It ALWAYS had chains attached. Not only did my BIL move his family, he didn't tell ANYONE where they were moving to.

At the time, both my sis and her husband worked for the same airline my dad worked for. My dad was a mechanic while my sis and BIL were luggage slingers. My dad went to the airport to find my BIL to do him in. When the authorities caught wind of this, they not only apprehended my dad but they had to take him to the ground using a sedative. My dad ended up in a mental institution for a period of time and later on he was forced into early retirement.

During that time, he called me to get him out of there. I was rather blunt with him and told him he needed to be there.

There are many stories I could tell, but suffice it to say, I needed to learn to stand up to my dad. It is said that there is tough love and there is. It isn't a fun love, that's for certain. Tough love feels awful, may not look right but can be the only thing that works.

When my dad was on his deathbed back in '08, I was able to visit with him in what I considered a safe environment. He was being housed at the VA. But when the VA staff said we could take my dad on a drive, both my mom and I got physically ill and had to go back to the hotel. My middle youngest sister was perfectly fine to do so.

Although he never really did come around, I have no regrets of how I treated my dad. I have a stamp that I bought while I was there visiting him. I have a video of him walking me down the aisle on my wedding day. I have a beautiful handmade Amish cedar chest that came from him albeit with quite a bit of pain.

Even though there were times I had to hang up the phone or walk away from him bawling my eyes out, there are no regrets on my side because I knew I did everything I could do. Again, there are times when love has to be tough.
__________________
Reply With Quote
  #125  
Old 05-14-2013, 03:31 PM
fab's Avatar
fab fab is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: Sunny Southern Calif.
Posts: 23,783
Default

DeeAnn, at times you have to protect yourself and be your own best friend. When we all tell our stories and share solutions it can help you to know you are not alone. Imagine for a moment mom was not your mother, just a casual acquaintence. How would you deal with her?

I would avoid spending any more time with her than I felt was absolutely necessary. I think you have moved some distance from her. Does your phone show you who is calling? If so, I would avoid taking her calls any more often than I can handle. Set a timer and when it goes off tell her you have to run to........anything you can think of.
Reply With Quote
  #126  
Old 05-15-2013, 03:10 AM
lylacfey's Avatar
lylacfey lylacfey is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: May 2011
Location: I live in the beautiful Ozarks.
Posts: 236
Default

Thank you everyone and big hugs.

Roberta- Special big hugs. Thank you.

Fab- How would I treat my Mom if she was a casual acquaintance? I have been thinking about this exact question since all of this happened. It was the most simple solution in the world. I feel like a goober for not thinking of it twenty years earlier. I would do what I always do in my life. I just tell her how it is.

I told my DH yesterday why are we visiting her? She doesn't like us! It's very simple the next time she calls I am going to tell her that and decline her invitation politely.

You know what is so sad about all of this? She's not my real Mom. My real Mom passed away when I was a baby. My parents took me in. My Mom likes to pretend she was pregnant with me. She tells everyone so. Everyone in my family tells me my Mom died. When I was seventeen my Aunt gave me all the papers to prove it and a picture of my real Mom.

I realized I am putting up with all of her treatment because I feel like I owe her. I don't know why because when my Dad died she left me to the streets. I am done with her. What she said about my child was the final straw. If she was an acquaintance that spoke about my child like that I would have punched her in the nose and let her have it.
__________________
DeeAnn
Reply With Quote
  #127  
Old 05-15-2013, 04:04 AM
alsmouse alsmouse is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: oregon
Posts: 1,052
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by lylacfey View Post
She's not my real Mom. My parents took me in. My Mom likes to pretend she was pregnant with me. Everyone in my family tells me my Mom died. When I was seventeen my Aunt gave me all the papers to prove it and a picture of my real Mom.
I realized I am putting up with all of her treatment because I feel like I owe her. I don't know why because when my Dad died she left me to the streets. I am done with her. What she said about my child was the final straw. If she was an acquaintance that spoke about my child like that I would have punched her in the nose and let her have it.
Yes, it is time to leave that toxic person behind you in a big cloud of dust. She is not someone you need in your life any longer and she probably does a guilt trip on how she took you in when you were a baby. Yes, she took you in but it was to make her look better, not to be a nurturing person.
If you need family time or hugs, here is your new family. We don't call out of the blue, we don't make you feel small, we don't treat you & your kids like cr@p and we don't throw guilt into the conversation. (yes, that is a long run on sentence, but it does a better job of making the point.)
We will support you, we will encourage your creativity, we will understand you & your kids, And we will listen. RSC is one of the best online families out there & even if you never meet any of us in person, you know we are here for you & your art.
Ratty Hugs,
~C8>
Reply With Quote
  #128  
Old 05-15-2013, 06:47 AM
stampin stacy
Guest
 
Posts: n/a
Default

Lol, I'm still trying to figure out how I could ditch my family for a bit while I'm up there Labor Day weekend for the family reunion so I could meet you in person.....

don't think it would go over well though, Sis and I did that last year one evening when we went to the outdoor mall in Branson. They were having a concert we wanted to stay and listen to instead of shop n turning in early. Things were a bit "cold" the next day, oh well. We had a fantastic time and sis and I hadn't done something like that, just the 2 of us in years.
Reply With Quote
  #129  
Old 05-15-2013, 06:55 AM
TheAfricanQueen's Avatar
TheAfricanQueen TheAfricanQueen is offline
Been real & been fun
 
Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: In a very busy place
Posts: 14,904
Default

You've got to have a really good story line if you want to make something like that successfully happen. It has to be realistic, of course, but a good story line nonetheless!
__________________
Reply With Quote
  #130  
Old 05-15-2013, 11:23 AM
fab's Avatar
fab fab is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: Sunny Southern Calif.
Posts: 23,783
Default

Some of this reminds me of my crazy aunt Rose. She did not want to seem old enough to have her daughter. So she told everyone that it was my mother's child born out of wedlock and she adopted it. My mother was horrified. The daughter came to live with us for her senior year in High School because of home problems. There is no mistaking whose daughter she really was.

Aunt Rose is long gone. She was paranoid, delusional, and most likely bi-polar but no one knew of that disorder back then. She claimed the FBI was spying on her. She beat up a man on the subway with her umbrella. The daughter is now in her 70s. She had two children and one ended up in prison and the other committed suicide.

We all have dysfunctional family members and more of them if you had a large family. My mom was always trying to keep the whole family (there were 9 children) connected and together but some had bad business dealings and would not speak to each other. One sister had so much plastic surgery her face ended up a crooked mess.
Reply With Quote
Reply

Bookmarks

Tags
washi tape

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump


All times are GMT -7. The time now is 11:47 PM.


Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.4
Copyright ©2000 - 2020, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
vB Ad Management by =RedTyger=